People always say to enjoy where you are in life and not to wish for those days to pass. I think that as much as I've tried to follow that counsel, I let my life run past me.
I wish I could rewind time and let it flow in slow motion. I feel like the past 3 1/2 years of my life have been on fast-forward. I just didn't realize it until now.
My home at BYU
I went on campus today for my student teaching meeting/orientation/workshop thing. I saw everyone starting their first day of class and I wanted to be them. I want to go back and take all my wonderful math classes again. I want to feel the excitement of not knowing anything about a subject and then learning so much so quickly. I want to cherish the opportunity to learn. It's not that I didn't love school while I was there, but I didn't love it ENOUGH. I didn't realize how much I'd miss it when I left. I realize I'll still have opportunities to learn while teaching, but it's different. I miss the BYU atmosphere, and living in the Talmage building, and being a TA, and all my professors, and working for hours on homework with friends. I miss walking to campus, going to devotionals, meeting new friends, and studying for hours on end. I miss everything so much. And everything is changing so quickly around me. Helaman Halls, where I lived my life as a freshman, is so different. It's weird walking through there and trying to remember everything about my freshman year. I didn't realize then that I'd be graduating so quickly. I just wish the world would stop swirling around me.
I was always so excited to be done with school and to graduate. I was so excited to be a teacher. Now I just want to be a student. A student forever.
10 comments:
This post is so descriptive! It really put me in your head/heart. Dont be too sad though. Life isnt over. You could always take a night class. Or take classes next semester. Or both. (or neither!!)
I love you more.
Oh, man, I feel for ya. I *loved* my time at BYU, but I definitely didn't love it enough. If I could live any part of my life over again, I would do my years at BYU!
I agree with Janae, I'd like to do my BYU years again and enjoy it more and get more involved. I'd like to go back one day and get more specialty training. You aren't gone yet. Enjoy what you are doing while you can.
I think part of the reason we don't enjoy what we are doing enough is because we don't see the full picture yet. We don't realize how much it changes us and how much we grow to enjoy it. So we don't appreciate it enough. So realize that what you are going through right now needs to be fully appreciated too. :) You will be great.
Want to switch lives? David and I went back today and I wish I was graduated! I'm so worried about grades again.
But, I do understand what you mean about missing it. When we moved to Cayman we missed BYU sooooo much. Now we are back and we miss Cayman soooo much. Funny how it all works out, huh?
We should meet up soon! Email me whenever. We can share our Savanna and Makenna stories together. :)
I totally know what you mean! But you should remember how you're feeling and try to soak up all the "firsts" that you're having now cause you'll never be able to go back to your first year of student teaching again! (maybe that's a good thing?) :) Anyway, I hope you love your first year teaching. What school/grade are you at, anyway?
Allie- I'm at Oak Canyon Junior High (grades 7-9). It's in Lindon, Utah. I start tomorrow!
How fun- teaching Junior High! :) Well, I hope you have a wonderful day tomorrow!
I know what you mean. I felt like that when I left the BYU world. I still miss it, and now I miss teaching. It happens. :) Good luck with starting. Call me sometime!
I understand! I'm really missing BYU-I. It is so sad to think my friends are no longer just around the corner! I also just miss the campus atmosphere. Its starting to hit me more and more as time passes and its sad! But, I have to continually remind myself that there is fun and adventure to come ;)
I still think about my college days a lot. I miss so many things about them. But then when I stopped teaching I REALLY missed so much about that. And when I had to go back to work at nights I really missed just being a stay-at-home mom. So now I am just trying to enjoy what I have. I know what you mean about not enjoying it as much as you should at the time. Make sure you make student-teaching the best ever! (Even if you have some rough classes). Good luck!
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